


Until God

by nea_writes



Series: chut, je rêve [6]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Angst, Both yes both are good, Fluff, Gen, In that ambiguous time after the Phantom Thief G Arc and before the Alma Karma Arc, and then circa chapter 205
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-08-09 21:04:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7817161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nea_writes/pseuds/nea_writes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Timothy has an earnest question to ask Allen, and it’s one that Allen can’t answer.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>---</p>
</div><br/>No one seemed to have time to explain to him how this happened. How could Allen leave for a mission and come back locked away in a basement and declared a Noah? How could things have fallen apart so quickly?
            </blockquote>





	Until God

**Author's Note:**

> Fluff and angst. When I read the background behind _adieu,_ of course I immediately thought of Timothy. He never got to say goodbye to Allen.
> 
> Cross-posted on tumblr.

 

Timothy had met Allen after the whole Order had learned he was a Noah, and with how casual everyone treated him, aside from the odd finder or scientist, it hadn’t really struck Timothy what being a Noah really meant.

He hadn’t met a Noah before Allen, either. Apparently, a Noah had sent ruin into their last headquarters, and another had killed several exorcists in a bid to find the Heart. He’d heard a lot of horrible stories about the Noah, including the ones where Allen had been brutally stabbed in in the eye, and where Allen’s heart had been pierced through.

None of those stories made sense to Timothy, really. It seemed like the Noah had done nothing but hurt Allen, so why would the Order think Allen would join the Noah?

“Hey, Allen,” Timothy asked, and he could hear Allen’s questioning hum vibrate through Allen’s legs and into Timothy’s chest, where he laid splayed out across the teen’s lap. Allen was the only one who let him clamber all over him like this. Marie, too, actually, but somehow Marie always knew when Timothy was making faces at him and that was kind of scary.

When Timothy didn’t respond fast enough, he felt Allen’s arms shift across his back, closing the book and resting it flat on Timothy’s back. He wiggled in indignation at being used as a table, and Allen huffed a soft laugh. “Yes, Timothy?”

Timothy glanced around - they were in the library again and Tim was taking a break from his studying. Lavi was in an armchair and Kanda was, surprisingly, also there, sitting in the opposite couch and methodically polishing his sword. It was quiet, to say the least, and Lenalee had just left to deliver coffee to the scientists. Timothy eyed Lavi, then glanced away when the redhead looked up. Scooching closer to Allen so that he was pressed closer to his chest, he whispered, “I want to ask you something.”

“What?” Allen stage whispered back, lips twitching into an amused grin. Timothy frowned at being mocked at, and when he glanced around again he found both Kanda and Lavi watching them with interest. He squeaked in dismay and abruptly shot up from Allen’s lap. Allen leaned back with a shocked yelp, pushing into the cushions of the couch, and Timothy hastily rearranged himself so that he was on his knees, one of them digging into Allen’s thigh and the other in the soft seat of the couch. He wobbled unsteadily and grabbed Allen’s shoulders for purchase, ignoring Allen’s soft groan of pain as he dug his knee in deeper.

“Timothy, your knee is _bony_ ,” Allen groaned, and Timothy dug it in deeper in retaliation. “Ouch, ouch, ouch! Okay! I’m sorry, geez. You’re as bad as Timcanpy.” Allen muttered, and Timothy grinned.

“Stop distracting me,” he said instead, patting Allen’s shoulder hard enough to be considered a punishment. “Shh, shh, I wanna ask you something.” He looked over his shoulder and _eep_ -ed quietly when he found Kanda frowning at them.

“Okay?” Allen said slowly, brow raising in confusion as he turned just enough to meet Timothy’s eyes. “Hold on, this is getting really uncomfortable,” and Timothy squeaked when Allen began to shuffle around, throwing off his balance even more. He settled when Allen pulled his arm back from between their bodies and wrapped it around Timothy instead, warm across his back. It brought Timothy closer to Allen’s side, which was his goal. “What is it?” Allen whispered, eyes glittering in mischief.

He tilted Allen’s head forcibly by the chin, making the teen chuckle, until his ear was by Timothy’s face. Timothy impatiently brushed and tucked away white strands of hair, feeling Allen’s short laughter through their closeness.

“Alright, alright, what is it? What is so important to ask that you must whisper it directly into my ear?”

“Hush!” Timothy said, smacking Allen on the shoulder again and frowning when Allen laughed once more. “Stop laughing at me! It’s serious! Serious serious!”

Allen sobered quickly. “Serious serious? That must be serious, then.”

“Really serious!” Timothy agreed, then smacking Allen repeatedly when the teen laughed harder.

“Alright, alright,” Allen breathed, voice trembling with the effort not to laugh again. “Tell me this serious serious thing. Or, ask me it.”

Timothy glanced shyly at Kanda and Lavi again, stuck his tongue out when he found them still watching, then turned to whisper softly into Allen’s ear. “If you’re a Noah…” he felt Allen still as death beneath him, and Timothy’s stomach curled with dread. “Will you kill us one day?”

Allen, Timothy thought, was not breathing. Maybe… maybe this wasn’t something he was supposed to ask. He felt tears sting his eyes at Allen’s lack of response, and it felt like the truth was hanging horribly between them, blatant in its cold honesty. If all the Noah had done was kill, murder, and destroy, then what would become of Allen when he turned into one? Would Allen disappear?

Because there was no way the Allen Timothy knew would ever do any of those things.

Allen pulled slightly away and Timothy’s breath caught in his throat as he worked desperately to prevent to rising tears. But, Allen only pulled away enough to turn his head to Timothy again, and there was an almost unbearable amount of relief when Timothy saw the gentle smile Allen wore.

“That _was_ very serious serious,” Allen said kindly, and Timothy nodded jerkily, resisting the urge to mutter a watery _I told you so._ It must’ve shown on his face anyways, because Allen laughed softly and brought his hands up to cradle Timothy’s face, thumbs chasing away the tears already beginning to spill. “Timothy,” Allen said sternly, and he stiffened at the seeming rebuke.

“Timothy, I swear that I will never harm you, or anyone at the Black Order. You are my family and my home, and I love you all.” Allen’s eyes were gray as storm clouds, his hair shining like starlight, and Timothy thought this would be who he remembered when he thought of Allen, and not some estranged, murderous Noah. _This_ was Allen, sincere and bright and warm, and so very real.

“I will never let that happen,” Allen swore, and Timothy shook his head, face scrunching up.

_Please don’t let it happen. Please don’t leave us._ He wanted to say those words, to let Allen know how very much he wanted him to stay, but they were caught in his throat along with his breath, and he trembled with the effort of it all. All he could do was shake his head just barely, feeling the soft caress of Allen’s hands on his cheeks with the movement.

Allen’s face softened, creasing in the corners of his eyes and smile falling gentle and lax, and he brought Timothy closer until he rested in the hollow beneath Allen’s chin, feeling the steady thump of his heartbeat.

“I promise you, Timothy, that I will be here. I won’t disappear. I won’t let anyone harm you.”

“Okay,” Timothy said, watery and pathetically and sadly, into the gentle heartbeat beneath him. “Okay. You promise, you swore. You promise!”

“I promise,” Allen said, nodding slightly and head curving to slide along Timothy’s with the notion. Timothy sighed into the warmth.

* * *

 

Timothy didn’t understand, then, why he stood in a big echoing room with all the exorcists and CROW, Komui staring them down with the most heartbroken look in his eyes even as all his eyebrows and set mouth showed was a dogged determination to be stern, as he declared Allen Walker a traitor to the Black Order, and a Noah.

No one seemed to have time to explain to him how this happened. How could Allen leave for a mission and come back locked away in a basement and declared a Noah? How could things have fallen apart so quickly?

No one even looked at Timothy as they broke into groups to scavenge the surrounding forests for Allen Walker the Traitor. No one bothered to comfort Timothy as he began to choke on his breath with every dodge from the Third Exorcist’s attack, protecting the runaway Noah. No one even seemed to care when he broke down crying on his knees as the Order declared the Fourteenth gone and their mission a collective failure.

Where had they gone wrong? When had it all gone wrong?

No one had an answer for him.

_Adieu, adieu._

_Until God shall we meet again._

 

**Author's Note:**

>  _Adieu_ can be directly translated as To God or Until God, using _A_ as to/until and _Dieu_ meaning God. Here, Timothy is saying _Until God, will we meet again._ It's a goodbye, because the Allen Walker he knows is gone.


End file.
